Throughout the Kingdom of Spain’s State of Alarm, Naval Station (NAVSTA) Rota’s community has found ways to support and engage with each other. Many times, the ‘meeting point’ has been within social media, video games, and video chats.

For many parents, this time has been particularly lonely with being stuck at home with your children, their schoolwork demands, and endless energy from being cooped up. Rota Parent Network, a Facebook group for parents in this area, has been the ‘meeting point’ for parents to share information on a variety of topics, provide inspiration, offer self-care tips, and engage in adult conversation.

Abigail Gross, a military spouse and mom of two, describes herself as a “serial inviter and usually found behind the scenes at the thrift shop” before the State of Alarm. She has been the administrator of the group for the past few years since she arrived in NAVSTA Rota with her spouse who is stationed on the Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer USS Porter (DDG 78). She has cultivated this community from a defunct group to an active and supportive one with over 600 members.

“I love the magic that happens when we meet up finally and create these beautiful sudden villages that share whether coffee or story or a little cheer,” said Gross. “We have done this in many ways, mostly in person, over the years. I am trying to recreate some of this online, I haven’t figured out how but whatever I’m doing I feel like it’s working.”

According to Gross, her goal for Rota Parent Network, which had originally started as Rota Moms Social but was changed to be more inclusive to all parents here in Rota, is to provide a “community safety net.”

The community safety net is for those that Gross feels are similar to her that possibly fall through the cracks. She wanted to make sure there was a space for them to feel supported and heard.

“I just really wanted a group that comes together, despite command or religion or school,” said Gross. “I wanted something like a catch all. A wider audience, more people to invite!”

Gross was herself a “Navy brat” having lived in Japan, Guam and San Diego throughout her childhood. After a few years of college, she returned to a lifestyle that was familiar to her, the Navy. She completed boot camp and electronics introduction school at Great Lakes then headed to Point Loma for additional training within her rate as a Sonar Technician, Surface (STG). She went on to be stationed on USS Cowpens (CG 63) and USS John C Stennis (CVN 74) as well as U.S. Naval Hospital Yokosuka between the two ships before getting out to support her husband’s naval career.

While in Bangor, Washington as an active duty Sailor, Gross was placed on limited duty (LIMDU) due to being “diagnosed” as pregnant.

“I completely understand why it was written like that but it still rubbed me the wrong way,” she explained. “I was also super ambivalent by my own pregnancy, mostly because I want to be happy that I’m finally expecting but I also felt shame that I was letting my shipmates down.”

This frustration led her to begin attending a support group led by a local doula. Doulas are trained professionals who provide physical and emotional support to a mother throughout the pregnancy, birth and postpartum. This doula and group ultimately influenced Gross in her post-Navy career as a doula, facilitating parent and children focused groups, and supporting other moms.

Being on LIMDU with other expectant moms in Washington, Gross realized that there tended to be a lot of common questions and concerns. She believes she was fortunate that she was in Bremerton where there was a great support system for expectant and new mothers.

“Friendship and camaraderie with eating breakfast before muster then next thing I know, I was there for the labor and birth of my shipmates,” said Gross. “Which surprisingly I became really good at.”

This led Gross to dedicate her focus to helping growing families. Initially, she started leading a babywearing group. This led her to become a babywearing educator, get certified as a car seat technician, and host birth fairs. Gross enjoyed developing and hosting birth fairs which she describes as a “trade show with classes but everything is related to pregnancy and beyond.”

Gross continued taking classes and began getting involved in national movements related to perinatal mood disorders. Traditionally, perinatal is described as the period from conception to just after birth, but Gross personally feels it more encompassing and describes it as “conception until the mom gets the hang of being a mom.”

Her vision and focus evolved as she met with more moms and saw the same questions being brought up.

“There are subjects that I consider hot items during babywearing meet ups [in Whidbey Island],” said Gross. “When I do car seat checks, the questions I get asked were often not about car seats. Who are catching these families?”

As Gross pondered the question, she also discussed it with a few birth professionals and they ultimately decided to create a non-profit organization, Island Birth Association.

“We were hosting almost weekly free classes for growing families, babywearing, car seat checks, learning about chiropractor benefits, discussing features of birth, and more,” said Gross. “It was beautiful. I loved the community we were creating of lots of empowered and informed families.”

When Gross moved to Rota, she found herself missing the babywearing and perinatal community so she decided to try to recreate it, but virtually. She explained, “In my head, I feel like I have plenty of experience and training to lead a group, just not a good avenue to use it.”

She found the defunct group and began to grow it. The result has been an informed, empowered and supportive community of parents with the common bond of living in the Rota area. Gross posts information pieces and generates interaction posts as well as posts focused on mental health causes as she states “perinatal mental health is my jam.”

Reflecting on everything, Gross herself is even shocked by the direction her career path has taken her.

“I still look back on that decision to this day and I was super sure that I would really love to be a contractor at Lockheed Martin or acoustic analyst,” she said. “I loved being an STG so much that I didn’t see myself doing other things. Having kids do change our perspectives.”

Perspectives change over time based on experiences, challenges and life events. It can be assumed that one’s perspectives on life will change throughout this State of Alarm and de-escalation in Spain, and continue for the coming years. Hopefully when looking back on this challenging time, one will be able to see the glimmers of hope, laughter, and joy. For many, it can quite possibly be the interactions and support received from Gross and through the Rota Parent Network Facebook group.