Raising a child is one of the hardest and most rewarding things a person can do. Parents run into multiple obstacles, trials, and problems while raising a child. Sickness, injuries, financial difficulties, and other unexpected things make parenting even harder.

Military parents deal with all of these challenges combined with deployments, separation, and the stress of being a service member. Despite all of these challenges, more than 45 percent of active-duty military members have children.

Machinist's Mate (Nuclear) 1st Class Adam Bogard, stationed aboard the aircraft carrier USS George Washington (CVN 73), has two kids. His daughter Bailey is 8 years old and his son Tyler is 5. Bailey is a social butterfly who enjoys gymnastics, while Tyler is enthralled with cars and marksmanship.

"My son is exactly like me," said Bogard.

Bogard and his wife divorced three years ago, and now he sees his kids for a week and a half at a time. Then they spend the same amount of time at their mother's house. He said being away from one parent for two weeks or more was too much for the kids, and they started to miss the other parent. So a week and a half was a perfect amount of time for the children to spend with each parent.

"Every day, every year they get older is an entirely new learning process," said Bogard, reflecting on the time he spends with his kids.

Between balancing the kids' time with each parent and coping with the separation of deployments, Bogard faces challenges on a daily basis.

He said having kids is similar to a business agreement. When they have kids, parents have essentially agreed to support someone emotionally and financially for the rest of their lives. And every day constitutes continuous learning.

Even though being a military parent is challenging, Bogard is thankful beyond measure for his children.

"Children really keep you down to earth," said Bogard. "They keep me humble."

He gets to experience the pride of parenting every day, watching as his kids go through developmental milestones and helping them through every step along the way.

"My daughter's extremely intelligent," he said. "She does extremely well in school."

He said when it comes to his son, Bogard is most proud of his personality.

"If he doesn't know the right way to do something, then he won't do it the wrong way," said Bogard.

He also said his children are very well-mannered, and that makes him proud as a parent.

Many people would like to know how Bogard raises his children under such difficult circumstances. He mentioned three things that can help any parent, especially those in the military.

The first is to split childcare responsibilities evenly between both parents.

"It's not mom's job to be mom, it's not dad's job to be dad," he said.

Both parents should contribute in the best way that they can, regardless of whether they are the mother or father figure.

The second thing is to get a prearranged custody agreement, even before you have kids. Some people think it dooms the relationship, but it is simply something to alleviate a possible situation because anything can happen in a relationship. Bogard made a parallel to buying insurance for a car. No one believes buying insurance will cause them to crash their car, but it is a good safety net to have in case something does happen. A prearranged agreement can help determine what is better for the child, should something happen between the parents.

The last thing is to ask for help.

"Everyone's so afraid to talk about personal problems in the Navy," said Bogard.

If a Sailor is having difficulties juggling work and parenting along with other responsibilities, they need to tell someone. For example, if they are going to be late for work because they have to take their kid to school, they should talk to their chain of command about it. Most of the time, their chain of command will work with them to fix the situation. It is likely that the majority of their leadership has kids of their own, which makes them more understanding when it comes to Sailors having issues at home.

"You have to talk to people," said Bogard. "You have to let them know you have problems."

At the end of the day, his kids serve as an inspiration and motivation to keep working hard. Being a Sailor provides his children with medical and educational benefits, and if he loses those, so do his children. Even though being an active-duty parent is challenging, the rewards far outweigh anything that could possibly come Bogard's way.

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