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Families and the Military: Challenges and Solutions

14 December 2015

From Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Chelsea D. Daily

She stands bouncing in her sparkly flats, brown curls bouncing in the blinding Southern California sunshine. In her excitement, she repeatedly grabs and drops her mother's hand. Beside her, her younger sister stares ahead, focused on the upcoming reunion.
She stands bouncing in her sparkly flats, brown curls bouncing in the blinding Southern California sunshine. In her excitement, she repeatedly grabs and drops her mother's hand. Beside her, her younger sister stares ahead, focused on the upcoming reunion.

Her twin sisters vocalize their excitement in their makeshift toddler language, and her baby sister smiles happily from her stroller.

"Look girls!" her mother says, pointing.

Her eyes light up and with a screech of delight, she takes off. She launches herself off the ground and into his arms--her Daddy is home.

Reunions like this are common for military families everywhere. But even with the holidays fast approaching, not all families will get such a reunion.

For Lieutenant Jason Hart, a Chaplain in the United States Navy, leaving his young family behind can be a challenge. With a wife of nine years and five daughters, ranging in age from seven to three months, leaving home is never easy.

"My family is very young," said Hart. "We're very close and love to have fun together. We miss each other a lot."

For Chief Boatswain's Mate Chris Beach, who has a wife and two kids at home, the feeling of missing family is much the same.

"It's not something that gets easier," Beach said. "You always miss them."

Navy Counselor 1st Class Rosita Lemus, who has been in the Navy for more than 18 years, said her biggest struggle was not being able to help.

"You just feel so helpless when anything happens to them," she said.

Hart said that his military service depends as much on his family as it does on him.

"The challenge of being apart reminds us that military service involves each member of the family working hard and staying close together," Hart said.

Beach expresses that having the continued support of his family is what makes things easier for him. "My wife is former Navy, so she really gets the lifestyle," he said. "She understands what I do and she supports me."

While having supportive families goes a long way to making separation easier, service members all find their own ways to deal with it.

As a chaplain, Hart and his family lean heavy on their faith to get them through rough times.

"Our family's faith tradition teaches us that Jesus left the comforts of Heaven to serve and offer his life for others," he said. "Each day of deployment gives me perspective on what he endured for us as we seek to live like him."

Chaplain Hart also said focusing on his relationships with his Sailors helps to make every day seem worth it.

"If I'm going to be away from my girls, I want to make the most of each day," he said. "Building strong relationships with my Sailors makes that very easy."

For Chief Beach, his secrets to dealing with the family separation are communication and keeping a strong work ethic.

"The easiest thing I've found is to dig hard in to your work," Beach said. "It helps me deal with missing my family while I stay focused."

He also said maintaining contact with home is a big help.

"I try to email my wife a few times a day when I can," he said. "I can call home. When we hit port and get Wi-Fi I can video chat with my kids. That always helps."

Lemus, too, said keeping communication as much as she can is what better helps her to handle the separation.

"I call home as often as I can," she said. And I write a lot of letters. I always make sure my family knows I don't forget about them."

Chaplain Hart also touched on how the Navy emphasizes family support networks like Family Readiness Group (FRG), Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) workshops, and pre- and post-deployment education for families.

Beach said that he relies heavily on the FRG and the ombudsmen for help if something were to happen while he was gone.

"It's really nice to know that my wife can call our ombudsmen or of the FRG is something were to come up that I cant take care of while I'm gone," he said.

While military service often pulls Sailors away from their families, it can also bring them closer together. For more information, visit www.navy.mil, www.facebook.com/usnavy, or www.twitter.com/usnavy.

For more news from USS New Orleans (LPD 18), visit www.navy.mil/.
 

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